Best Bike Jokes to Share on Your Next Group Ride–Wheely Funny!

Best Bike Jokes to Brighten Your Day: Gear Up for Giggles with These Wheely Funny Jokes

three cyclists reading bike jokes on a smartphone
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Cycling is a fun activity in and of itself, but it’s not just about the thrill of speed or the challenge of hills and trails. Cycling can also be a source of endless humor, as you’ll see in this article with some of the best bike jokes you’ve ever read.

These bike-related jokes are perfect to break the ice at your next group ride or lighten up the mood when things are not going as expected and you’re having a ‘wheelie’ bad time on the road.

So, gear up for some laughs and prepare to pedal into a world of humor!

See Also: 360+ Funniest and Coolest Bike Names

 

Question and Answer Bike Jokes


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Q: What do you call a professional cyclist who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: Why can’t a bicycle stand up on its own?
A: Because it’s too tired (two tired)!

Q: Why couldn’t Cinderella win the bicycle race?
A: She has a pumpkin for a coach!

Q: Do you know what is the hardest part of learning to ride a bike?
A: The pavement.

Q: What do you call an artist who sculpts with bicycle parts?
A: Cycleangelo

Q: Why are bank tellers not allowed to ride bicycles?
A: They tend to lose their balance.

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Q: Did you hear about the lunatic who won the Tour De France in one day?
A: He took the psycho-path.

Q: What does a bicycle call its dad?
A: Pop-cycle

Q: What did the little boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
A: Because he didn’t want to walk in his sleep.

Q: How did the barber win the bike race?
A: He took a short cut.

Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
A: You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.

Q: What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a unicycle?
A: Attire (a tire – ba dum tss!).

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Q: Did you hear about the environmentalist who went down the same bicycle route twice?
A: He re-cycled.

Q: What do you call a therapist for cyclists?
A: A cycologist.

Q: How do you greet an OAP on their new bike tires?
A: Congratulations on your re-tire-ment!

Q: Why was the bicycle so good at making friends?
A: It was always on a roll.

Q: Why was the bicycle so good at stand-up comedy?
A: It knew how to handlebars.

Q: What’s a cyclist’s favorite type of art?
A: Spoke-n word!

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Q: Why was the mountain bike happy?
A: Because it saw too many hill-arious views.

Q: What do you call a mountain biker who’s also a comedian?
A: A wheelie funny rider.

Q: Why did the bike go to therapy?
A: It had too many issues with its chain of thought.

Q: Why couldn’t the old bike find its way home?
A: It lost its bearings.

Q: What’s a bicycle’s favorite type of music?
A: Cycle-delic rock!

Q: What did the hungry lions say after the man escaped on his bike?

A: “What a cheat-ah!“

 

One-Liner Bike Puns


1. It gets more expensive to buy a tire pump every year. It’s all because of inflation.

2. My friend is a really good unicycle user but very socially awkward when going out. She just can’t handle bars.

3. I cycled through a meadow the other day, and my bike looks much prettier. I’ve got a daisy chain!

4. A boxer let the air out of both my wheels. I had two punc(h)tures.

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5. A little boy took his bike to bed. He didn’t want to sleepwalk.

6. It’s just a hill. Get over it!

7. My granny started cycling at 97 years old. She has been doing ten miles per day. And now we don’t know where the heck she is!

8. I was selling my bike, and an interested buyer asked what’s the lowest I’d go. About two mph, I said, otherwise you’d tip over.

9. When my bike hurts me, I kick it back. We’re in a vicious cycle.

10. My bike chain went rusty. Then my whole bicycle fell apart. It was a chain reaction.

11. I changed my bike’s tires for the last time. It was time for retirement.

12. Life is like riding a bike – to keep your balance, you must keep moving. Or pedal faster.

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13. The bicycle couldn’t stand the criticism, so it put a spoke in it.

14. I had a job fixing bikes. It was wheelie wheelie good, but then I got tired.

15. I’m tired of dating bicycle thieves; they just pedal away in the end.

16. I hate to brake the news to you, but your bike was stolen again.

17. When bike thieves strike, we need to crank up security.

18. Heard Lance Armstrong switched to a one-speed bike. He said he’s tired of shifting the blame.

19. Trying to convince my friend to go cycling with me. I told him it’s the wheel deal.

20. Went to a bike event and saw a guy dressed as Elvis riding a bike. He was the king of the road.

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21. My cycling team just won the race by a spoke of luck.

22. They say success in cycling is all about finding your balance.

23. I told my wife I was making a bicycle out of spaghetti. She didn’t believe me… Until I rode pasta.

24. Finding the right bicycle seat is a real pain in the butt. Literally.

25. I ride an electric bike. Some cycling snobs find me a little bit re-volt-ing.

26. The banker is an expert cyclist. He knows all there is to know about balance!

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27. My tires blew out on the last lap of my race. I guess they couldn’t handle the pressure!

28. I think my old bike is angry with me. I bought another one, and now it hasn’t spoke-n to me in weeks!

29. My bike is addicted to reading about brakes – but it’s trying to stop!

30. I’ve given up cycling at the local velodrome. It’s getting me nowhere.

31. I’ve been cycling to work for a whole month now… You would have thought I would be there by now.

32. A maniac cut someone in half while I was on my bike today. I missed it, but my chain saw.

 

Short Bike Jokes


I Tried

I yelled “COW!” at a woman on a bicycle and she gave me the middle finger.
Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.
I tried.

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Look, Mom

A boy was riding his bicycle, and he sees his mom on the porch.

He releases the handle and yells to his mom, “Look mom, no hands!”

His mom replies, “Be careful, honey.”

Then he releases his legs from the pedals and says, “Look mom, no legs!”

His mom replies more sternly, “Be careful, honey.”

The little boy then abruptly falls, to the dismay of his mom.

The boy slowly gets back up and says, “Look mom, no teeth!”

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Snow Plow

I was cycling to work when a snow plow suddenly overtook me at high speed, spreading salt that hit my face.

“BASTARD!” I shouted, through gritted teeth.

Cemetery

A guy sees his mother-in-law riding a bicycle.

“Where are you going?” he asks.

“To the cemetery,” she replies.

Guy: “And who is going to return the bike?”

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Learning the Ropes

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of feminine products, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

“Eight,” the boy replied.

The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

The boy replied, “Not exactly, but we saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either.”

Cobbles

Two girls cycling down a cobbled street. The first one says “I’ve never come this way before”; the second one replies “Must be the cobbles”

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Last Wish

A cyclist lying on his deathbed asked his best friend to do him a favor when he’d gone. “Anything,” replied his friend.

“Just don’t let my wife sell my bikes for what I told her I paid for them,” he begged.

The Vicar

The police stopped a vicar at night for not having a backlight. The vicar says: “I don’t need a backlight; the Lord is with me”.

“Two on a bike as well, that’s another offense,” the policeman replied.

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Bike Away

Since things turned sour with my wife a fortnight ago, I’ve taken to riding 50 miles a day to clear my head. I’m now 700 miles from home and feeling much happier.

Bike Chaser

“I’ve really had it with my dog: he’ll chase anyone on a bicycle.”
“So what are you going to do – leave him at the dog’s home? Give him away? Sell him?”
“No, nothing that drastic. I think I’ll just confiscate his bike.”

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Smart Solutions

Two nerds are riding along on a tandem bicycle when, suddenly, the one on the front slams on the brakes, gets off, and starts letting air out of the tires.

The one on the back says: “HEY! What are you doing that for?!”

The first nerd says, “My seat was too high and was hurting my butt. I wanted to lower it a bit.”

So the one in the back has had enough. He jumps off, loosens his own seat and spins it round to face the other direction.

Now it’s the first guy’s turn to wonder what’s going on. “What are you doing?” he asks his friend.

“Look, mate,” says the rider in the back, “if you’re going to do stupid stuff like that, I’m going home!”

Got any other hill-arious bike jokes that we missed? Give us a laugh in the comments below!

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